Food Weekend Wonders

I sat in awe, staring at the red smears of pie filling on my plate. The world seemed to make sense in that moment. I knew I didn’t need to worry about anything as long as I had that strawberry pie.  My thoughts wandered to the previous day, when the beginning of one of the best food weekends of my life began. Ale, Annie, and I strolled to the farmer’s market and bought some goodies. Thankfully the cheese guy was there so we got some baby swiss and 4 year old cheddar. When I asked another vendor how much brats were, she told me $9.95/lb and then mentioned brat patties. Ale and my interests were peaked at this. I looked at her, she looked at me, then we looked at the vendor and I said “1 lb of brat burger please.” After seeing some young boys wearing matching, striped capris, we arrived home and began cooking. Ale expertly threw together some Jeremy Linsanely refreshing gin and tonics with fresh mint, limes, and cucumber. Light and crisp, those G&T’s cut through the humid air in the only way a G&T can do that thing I just said. I fired up the Weber and we were in business. I grilled ‘nem patties nice ‘n good and toasted some garlic rubbed potato buns. We topped the burgers with the cheddar, arugula and caramelized onions. OMGLOB. One of the best burgz of my life. The entire process was a joy and I was sad to see it end after we finished eating. Annie took off and Ale and I decided we needed naps. This, however, was not the end, and was more of an intermission.

Following brunch and naps, Ale and I rejoined forces at her apartment and began preparations for pan pizza, granita, and strawberry pie. Using leftover dough I made a warlock of a pan pizza with leftover homemade fried chicken and spinach. We put white and red sauce on either side for MAXIMUM flavocity. Ale blended honeydew, coconut water and more of the fresh mint to make granita. She also started cooking some farmer’s market strawberries for the strawberry icebox pie. I was given the role of head stirrer and found my duties quite hot as it was hot outside and in since we were baking a homemade pie crust as well. My schvitzing was worth well worth it in the end though as anything that contributed to that beauteous pie had to have been worth it. Eventually, we ate our pizza in ecstasy and even had a piece left, that we gave to Seth who seemed to enjoy it thoroughly. After having eaten the pizza and cooked all day, I was fatigued and still hot. Ale took the once stirred granita from the freezer. While it wasn’t completely ready and was more of a this slushie, it did just the trick to liven my wits and refresh my pallet. Unfortunately, we had to wait until the next day to consume the pie as it would not finish setting until 2 am that night. I accepted this minor defeat knowing that the next day, the pie would taste that much sweeter.

On the morrow I awoke and went for a run. Hotter and sweatier than Channing Tatum at a Sweat concert, I showered, only to sweat more trying to fix my bike. Blood sugar low, I told my bike to go cut its own dick off and went to Ale’s for some strawberry pie. She had just finished making a whipped topping for it. The first bite was as delicious as the last. Bringing the narrative full circle, the strawberry pie was an excellent finish to a wondrous food weekend and also an excellent beginning to this post. I will never forget the things I tasted that weekend. Won’t you join me for my next food weekend wonder?

 

peace ‘n luv

willie

MAGIC IS REAL, GUYS

When I walked out of work last night, I thought a normal evening was about to begin, but I was very wrong. I invited Tyler over to grill some burgerz with me. He brought over some brewz and we kicked back and chatted as the grill heated up. Nothing sets the summer mood better than the smell of a grill goin’ as the sun sets. I had stopped at OPro before getting home and picked up a pineapple, avocado, and an onion to add to the burgerz. I grilled slices of the pineapple and spread some avocado onto the burgerz  and added caramelized onions. With a light spread of BBQ sauce, I was in heaven. I was so hungry that I barely got to enjoy that warlock, but damn did it cast a spell on me. Am I cursed to never eat such a burger again? No because I made extra patties and will be having leftovers tonight. ALLAKAZAM!

 

 

peace ‘n luv

willie

Grill Talk

There comes a time when every boy becomes a man. And then when that man becomes a lady. Last night I achieved ladyhood with my sweet, sweet gals Liz and Sam. I invited them over for tacos originally but said cluck that and we made grilled pizza instead. Liz was unaware of the mysteries and wonders of grilled pizza, but I showed her. She is now a believer. As I started the grill, Liz made some pineapple and rum drinks and we sipped those and gossiped about things that I don’t know about. It was great? First I grilled some pork that I had marinating in an achiote marinade that you can gather here. After those pork warlocks were grilled to perfection, I put the pizza dough on a handy grill pan designed for grilling pizza that my beautiful friend Ellen gave me. It was the first time I used it and it made everything so much easier. I tried to high five the pan, but it was real hot and now I can’t high five anyone with my right hand ever again because of what the doctor calls “severe burns and stupidity” :(. After I cooked one side of the dough, I flipped it, topped it with BBQ sauce, mozz, diced pork, sauteed onions, and dice pineapple, then let it cook a little more. The pizza turned out fantastic and much fun was had by we three. Such a great lady’s night followed and I don’t think it inappropriate of me to say that the pizza was the first domino that fell starting a chain reaction of wonderful events.

 

peace ‘n luv

willie

ohmyglob burger

While I think I am a genius most of the time, I don’t often know I’m a genius. Right now is a time when I know with certainty that my IQ is like…really, really high. Last week on an impulse I bought a couple premium beef patties from OPro and I finally indulged in them this evening. I haven’t even finished eating this burger. Oh my god. Lucky for me I made some bacon candy this morning for Spoon and decided to put a couple slices of the brown sugary and black peppery goodness on this delicious patty. I added sauteed onions, pepperjack cheese and a toasted wafer of Parmesan cheese, all on a Medici potato bun. I added a thin layer of BBQ sauce to the top bun and that definitely brought it all together. Sweet and salty is the name of the game tonight and I just won.

 

 

peace ‘n luv

willie

FAST BREAKER

I woke up this morning to my guy Andrew at the back door ready to help me clean from the Occam’s after-party last night. After a vigorous clean, I noticed that it was a beautiful day, absolutely stunning. I thought, “you know what, Willie, you deserve to treat yaself.” So that I did. For a nice hearty brunch, I began with some coffee (um duh don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my coffee) and then threw together a breakfast ‘wich by cooking up some ground beef with sriracha and seasonings, frying  an egg and posting them up on some buttered wheat toast. With a drizzle of maple syrup the sandwich was ameahzing. I also cut up some strawberries and a banana and had a lil fruit salad. Not to be dramatic or anything but I think my destiny has been fulfilled. I was so satiated that I ascended to another plane of existence and now I’m just chillin’ with the Astral Beast.

 

 

peace ‘n luv,

willie

Learning from Colin Powell

I think in the past week I’ve said the term “pan pizza” upwards of 200 times. I have been banned from using that term in the vicinity of any University building because the idea of pan pizza distracts too much from academics.  My influence away from academics expands off-campus and into my apartment when, last night, I had Keekz over for a late supper and attempted to distract her from studies. Earlier that day I had whipped up some pizza dough so like fuck yeah I was gonna make pan pizza. While the process takes a while, it’s actually super easy, it just requires a little patience. I find that the patience is worth it 100% of the time. I had left-over lasagna fixings from Friday, so I decided to disrupt everything I knew about Italian food (which is essentially nothing) and combine two of the most popular forms of Italian cuisine into one, mind-blowing pie: LASAGNA PIZZA!!!!!! Legally, one has to yell LASAGNA PIZZA every time you say it and when typing it, one must use all caps. I spread the meat sauce and the cream sauce on the dough and covered that with mozz and then sprinkled some prosciutto. 15 minutes later, the LASAGNA PIZZA was looking and smelling ameahzing. Kiko suggested that I apply for the MacArthur Genius Grant for the combination of cuisines. I am considering this, but would rather spend my spare time eating LASAGNA PIZZA rather than applying for money. Halfway through eating the pizza, Kiko and I heard a knock on the back door and when I opened it, to my surprise it was former Secretary of State Colin Powell. He shook my hand and let himself in (mostly because I was in aw at the moment). He commented on the delicious smell and then grabbed himself a slice and sat down next to Kiko and took his shoes off. I offered him a beer but then saw that he somehow already drank one and was opening another. He stayed for a while and I was getting tired, but how to do you tell a four-star general to leave your apartment? He eventually left when the pizza ran out and followed another scent he said he was picking up, something about Korean food. Although he overstayed his welcome a bit, he did leave a tip so I can’t say I’m too mad.

 

 

peace ‘n luv

willie

BRING IT las-ON-ya

The other day I was thinking to myself, “I’m tired of lasagna always being las-YAWN-ya”. I went to the grocery store and flipped the bird to all the frozen lasagna as well as all the lasagna noodles in the pasta section. Then I went home and made my own noodles, like a real man. Similar to the fettuccine noodles, the lasagna noodles were a blast to make. I listened to a bunch of nu-disco and danced in my kitchen, like a real man. I let those warlocks dry and began the filling. My sweet, sweet mother Susan gave me her recipe for the filling and a cream sauce. I prepared both with some classic thehousekitchen variations and got the whole room smelling brilliant, with notes of onions, celery, and SWAG. I was expected at Kim’s by 7, but the sauce (which was indeed boss) didn’t allow me to get over there until around 8. I assembled the lasagna and brought it over to Kim’s to bake, and after 15 minutes of baking and 15 minutes of resting, we were finally ready to dig in. Kim and Thuy made an excellent salad with strawberries and yellow peppers in it that we crunched while waiting for the lasagna. When the lasagna was ready, we served ourselves and dove right in. I am not exaggerating when I say that this lasagna was so good that it could have brought Sauron to tears (which would just be steam since he is an eye made of fire). The only thing missing was the honorable, but absent Kiko who did not participate in the lasagna eating, however she was there in our hearts.

 

 

peace ‘n luv

willie